Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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